I miss me... I was once fun, exceted, Happy. At least that's the way the world saw me. Now everytime I enter a room people stop talking and will look at me like i'm about to hurt myself.
I took off my mask and what they see is someone who is sad all the time, someone who you have to watch because she might hurt herself.
It's so unfair that when you're sick because of a mental illness people don't look at you like a human anymore the just see a liability. No one will see me anymore.
I can still me fun, excited, happy the one thing that has changed is that i also show the other side of me. the new me is all of me not just the good parts!
And then people will maybe say i miss the old you, not what i want to hear because i miss her too....
I wish i could be the wife that my man fell in love with, the fun, goofy, spontanius girl. But i'm not her anymore and i tried to get her back just to realise more and more that she is further away from me then ever hoped. and the harder i try to find her the further away she gets....
I have to stop fighting with the changes but just accept what is now. Accept who i am now. Accept that i will problably be a total different person again next year and the year after that...
It's a new me and i just have to find a way to love this new me....
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